“As I walked away, I had a thought: maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes – they bring you down and sometimes – like now – they get you so high.”
“She’s not gonna have sex, she’s gonna look like sex.” “That’s right, I’m a trailer.”
“Interesting dress.” “Meaning?” “Interesting dress.”
“And if he doesn’t call me, I’ll always think of him fondly… as an asshole.”
“Stop blaming yourself.” “No, I don’t blame myself, I blame the dress, the dress”
“Since Livia wasn’t that gorgeous, he didn’t feel the pressure.”
“Well, if the sex is good, who cares what people are gonna think?”
“Didn’t he show up here because I slept with him on a first date?” “Well obviously, when you sleep with a man on a first date you’ll never be anything more than just sex.”
“You’re a whore.” “I wish that were true.”
“There was so many answers I wanted him to give but not to ask.”
“Well what was the blowjob of the 80s?” “Anal sex”. “70s?” “Any sex.”
“But you don’t have relationships” “Which is why I have great sex.”
“Why is it that sometimes putting a tie on a man’s neck is sexier than taking it off?”
“So I did what any writer would do – I took idea out of my ass.”
“Look, we were having threesomes because we both wanted someone else.”
“It’s always better to marry someone who loves you more than you love them.”
“Well with a breath like that you’re gonna live a very long life… alone.”
“Puberty is a phase. 15 years of rejection is a lifestyle.”
“It was the moment Samantha realised, that with all the effort, he was still The Turtle in Black.”
“My Zen teacher also said: if you want to be happy, you have to live in the moment and not think about the future. Of course he died penniless and single.”
“Let’s be honest, sometimes there is nothing harder in life than being happy for somebody else.”
“So all I have to do to get an ideal man is to… give birth to him.”
“One day you’re gonna wake up, you’re not gonna recognize yourself.”
“Normal is the halfway point of what you want and what you get.”
“You’re a woman and they don’t want women to be human.”
“They [men] aren’t that complicated. They’re kinda like plants.“
“The only hotter thing than having sex is not having sex.”
“Odd, how normal sometimes can feel so uncomfortable.”
“Whatever. Catholics, episcopalians, buddhists, shakers, quakers – all the same, all designed to fuck up our sex lives.”
“We’ve turned into one of those couples we hate and I’m lovin’ it!”
“All she had to do is to believe it.”
“After he left, I cried for a week. And then I realised I do have faith. Faith in myself. Faith in that one day I’ll meet someone who’ll be sure.”
“The only way to get over somebody is to feel really bad, to get out with your girlfriends and repeat everything you hated about it over and over in your head.”
“But why do men do this? I mean, how would they feel if we stood around in public touching ourselves?” “They’d love it.”
“Break up rule number 3: until emotionally stabilised, enter NO stores.“
“Break up rule number 4: never stop thinking about him. Because the moment you stop thinking about him is exactly the same moment he’ll appear.”
“And finally, the most important break up rule number 5: no matter who broke your heart and how long it takes to heal, you’ll never gonna get through it without your friends.”
“I thought you were leaving him?” “I did but if he calls I wanna be there to tell him I don’t wanna talk to him.“
“Well, men… they can never say ‘I was wrong’, they just send you flowers.”
“You know, sometimes rose is just a rose.”
“I couldn’t believe it: I just invited my ex and his date to my birthday party. If getting older wasn’t bad enough.”
“Samantha didn’t believe in first date. She believed in sex after it.”
“See, this is why I don’t date! Men out there are complete freaks!”
“When Charlotte really liked a guy, she used to say his full name, so she could imagine it on her future monogrammed towels.”
“He’s so cute to be so nasty!”
“Rough night?” “Bad date.”
“That’s why I don’t date anymore. Women are bizarre. Sometimes in a good way.”
“Wouldn’t you want to have a dinner with me?” “I thought you didn’t date.” “That wouldn’t be a date. That would be a non-date.”
“Favourite ice cream?” “Strawberry.” “Oh, I see you’re boring.”
“I thought you actually were the normal one.” “I was.”
“The truth is, it’s not just the men. All of us!”
“Enjoy them, but don’t expect them to you fill you up… except when, you know.”
“Oh I agree… You’re single, fabulous and fucked.”
“Look at this, he climbed on the top of her and the next thing you know – she’s humming. No wonder men are so lost. They have no idea there’s more work involved!”
“What’s the big mystery? It’s my clitoris, not the sphinx!”
“If I had a son, I’d tell him about vagina!” “If you had a son, we’d call a social service.”
“What do you mean? All the other women I’ve slept with were faking it?!”
“Look, a woman’s anatomy is a little bit more compl…” “Hey, I know anatomy well, I’m a doctor!” “You’re an eye doctor.”
“Hi, I hate you!” “Join the club! I hate me, too!”
“He was one of the men who faked their future to get what he wanted.”
“No matter how much it hurts, sometimes it’s better to be alone than to fake it.”
“Javier loved good clothes. Unfortunately, Javier loved more heroine.”
“She’s beautiful!” “She wasn’t a week ago.”
“You’re smoking at a funeral?!” “Javier would have wanted that.”
“One man’s death was another woman’s PR opportunity.”
“The widower thing is definite ’no no’.” “Why?!” “It doesn’t matter how much of a bitch she was alive, now she’s dead and you’re the bitch who can’t live up to her.”
“Just got back from a funeral.” “Oh, and you thought of me? I’m flattered!”
“On a dead woman’s watch, Ned came back to life… twice.”
“So you’re saying you fucked him back to life?”
“Your idea of heaven is a bed?”
“You might know me from the work with Javier’s foundation?” “No, that’s not it… I believe you were the whore who once groped my husband.”
“Please, breathe breathe breathe”
“She was prepared to live in a shadow of a dead one, not of three alive.“
“Miranda had a choice: she either type it [‘single’] or have a panic attack.“
“But the guilt worked as an aphrodisiac.”
“Sweetheart, you can’t listen to every tiny voice in your head, it’ll drive you nuts”
“Power lesbians and their shoes are like Wall Street brokers with their cigars.“
“If it feels okay, why are you sleeping with him behind our backs?”
“I missed you.” “Did you cry?” “No. But I did listen to hell of a Sinatra.”
“Miranda found herself in a situation every woman dreams to find herself on: a truly great date. Unfortunately, it was someone else’s.”
“It’s a love at first sight.” “Oh, honey, no, this isn’t love, this is about two people justifying a week of non-stop fucking.“
“I don’t understand why women are so obsessed with getting married. Married people want to be single again!”
“How can you forget whom you slept with?” “I don’t think we’re in single digits anymore…”
“So I’m officially out of men to fuck. I have to get married or move.”
“I have to start writing things down, I also have to start heavily drinking!”
“And suddenly, I realised: two people were committing for a lifetime, and I couldn’t get a guy on a card together.”
“I think I know you from somewhere…” “It’s very possible we fucked.” “No, no, I think I know you from college.” “Then we probably fucked in college.“
“Ed’s touch wasn’t the touch of an old man.” „Unfortunately, Ed’s ass was an ass of the old man.“
“Once you start to change a man, it’s doomed.”
“Reminder: you’re dating a man, not his penis.”
“It’s not what it looks like, it’s what they can do with it.”
“You’re very very arrogant.” “I thought you liked that about me.”
“The only thing I changed, was girlfriends.”
“So maybe you can’t change a man, but once in a blue moon, you can change a woman.“
“You know, it’s interesting. You can tell a man “I hate you” – the best sex in your life, but if you tell him “I love you” – you probably will never see him again.”
“I’m not being a bitch, I’m just being myself”
“I realised relationships had their own cast system. There’s the person who says “I love you”, and there’s the person who never responds.”
“Look, I love you. It’s just a tough thing for me to say, because I feel like it gets me in trouble everytime when I say it.“
“I think, everything before I love you just doesn’t count“
“Your right ovary has stopped producing eggs.” “Is it possible that it’s just on strike?”
“Men may have discovered fire, but women have discovered how to play with it.”
“Relationships are in decline since the women came out of the cave and said “this isn’t so hard”
“At that moment, Charlotte realised, her masculine side wasn’t as evolved for a man whose feminine side was as highly evolved as Stefans.”
“This is about taking responsibility, this about being a grown up! It’s about being a man!” “I am a man. I am a tired man. It’s 5:30 in the morning here.”
“Sweetie, this is New York city, nobody loves things THAT much.”
“What is all this? “It’s an apology for being la bitch.“
“I am so tired of calming down!”
“You said you loved me!” “I do!” “Then why does it have to hurt so fucking much?!”
“After we made love, I knew it was over.”
“I was free, but there was nothing exquisite about it.”
“But the best part of being out of relationship – having a plenty time to catch up with your friends.”
“I don’t need professional help, I’ve got you, guys!” <…> “Honey, we’re as fucked up as you are, it’s like the blind leading the blind!“
“How can you not have a shrink, this is Manhattan, even the shrinks have shrinks!”
(therapist) „So, Carrie, tell me why are you here? „Well, my friends can’t handle me anymore”
“Okay… Yeah. Maybe I’ve dated men who are wrong for me, but who hasn’t?” “But the thing they have in common is you.” “What’s your point?” “Maybe you are picking the wrong men.“
“She thought I was a game player!” “But you have to be, it’s the only way to deal with men!”
“The only place where you control a man is in bed. If we perpetually gave men blowjobs, we could run the world!”
“Jesus if he’s crazy…” “It’s the craziest ones who have the best pills.”
“The weird thing is when he tells me what to do in life – it drives me crazy, but when he tells me what to do during sex – it drives me crazy! It’s totally hot! Isn’t that weird that what I hate in life, I love in sex?”
“Was it possible that someone so stimulating in bed could be absolutely hideous in life?”
“Just because a man is divorced doesn’t mean he’s got a problem. ”
“First time is always weird.”
“I like him” “That’s just well but it doesn’t get the cream and the cupcake.”
“One thing about families: if no one’s sorry for you to go, then you probably not coming back.”
“Is your vagina in New York’s guidebooks? Because it should be, it’s one of the hottest spots out, it’s always open!”
“That is so sexy. You in bed. With my book.”
“Has anyone ever fallen asleep with you in bed?” “No, but I’m sure many of them wanted to.”
“Who we are in bed, we are in life! I’ve never met a man who was bad in bed and good in life.”
“Aren’t we all in our own recovery from something?”
“The smell is amazing. What is that?” “Me.”
“It’s like he replaced drinking with me.”
“Charlotte’s sweet hopefulness touched something in all of us.”
“Cynicism? Now there’s one advantage we have over girls who are in their 20s“
“That’s another thing about 20-something girls. They’re very considerate. You can always count on one to hold your hair back when you vomit.”
“It’s that the guy from the book party?” “Yeah…” “I’ve got to start reading!”
“A good on paper guy is a guy with good credentials who you always end up leaving for some hot guy who rides a motorcycle and doesn’t have a checking account.”
“That night we slept together but we didn’t really sleep together. It was really nice.”
“Well you can’t plan everything, life can be pretty random, too.”
“And then I realised. 20-something girls are fabulous. Until you see them with a man who broke your heart.”
“I mean, if you love someone and you break up… where does the love go?” “To their next girlfriend?!”
“And I finally got it: they’re happy, we’re over. And it was okay.”
“I miss you… Whenever something funny happens, I always wanna tell you about it…”
“Cosmopolitan plus scotch equals friendship with an ex.”
“Most women can’t handle it.” “Well I’m not most women, so unzip and get in!”
“There’s nothing more terrifying than a really big one coming at you.”
“Sweetie, it’s a penis, not a mountain Everest”
“I wish you all the best. I do. I wish you and Natasha will be very happy.” “You mean that?” “No. But I will.”
“Maybe some women aren’t mean to be taken. Maybe they’re meant to run free, until they find someone just as wild to run with.”
“We’re crossing the waters to meet men.”
“You know what they say – big arms… big arms.”
“Can I get your number? Government purposes only.”
“Charlotte, did you think that we’re the white knives and we’re ones that have to save ourselves?” “That is so depressing…” “Is it..?“
“I just want a nice sweet handsome funny guy who doesn’t say things like “sweet lips”. Is that so much to ask?”
“And just like that Charlotte’s White Knight changed into White Nightmare.”
“I was so burnt in my last relationship, I was terrified to leap off into the next one.”
“I always vote for candidates based on their looks. The country runs better with a good-looking man in the White House. Look what happened with Nixon. No one wanted to fuck him. So he fucked everyone!”
“Remind me why are we voting for this guy?” “<…> I’m sleeping with him.” “Good enough for me.”
“I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party, I just believe in parties.”
“One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure.”
“This is so typical of men in power, they just look to be dominated and humiliated.”
“I hate my thighs.” “Problem is not your thighs, sweetie, problem is in your head.”
“Hello, my name is Fabulous.”
“Miranda absolutely loved a man inside of her, she just didn’t like a man inside of her apartment.”
“Smoking is the only thing that keeps me balanced.”
“He’s a bisexual.” “Sweetie, I could have told that. He took you for ice-skating, for God’s sake!”
“I’m a trysexual. I try it all.”
“Samantha found Matt’s boyish arrogance annoying, unprofessional… and incredibly hot.“
“I’m never gonna be a girly girl. I never will! I’ll never be lotus flower.” “May I just say thank God?”
“No, a bad kisser is non-negotiable.”
“If you ever need me… for a party.”
“Isn’t that what you couples do? Supporting each others’ silly dreams?”
“I need you to believe in me even if you think it’s fucking stupid.”
“I really get it off me. I just hope he’s worth it.”
“You wait too long to sleep with someone, you miss the window and just become friends.”
“If he seems too good to be true – he probably is.”
“It’s not fate, it’s dumb luck.”
“It’s like he’s a kid and I end up nagging him all the time.”
“And even she was surrounded by bitches, she didn’t wanna be one.”
“A baby would’ve been a quick fix for something that would’ve never been ok!”
“Is it a contest? “Oh, please, there’s always a contest with an ex! It’s called: who will die miserable.“
“Don’t listen to her, she’s mid-break up.”
“There should be some sort of city-funded break up house for those who find themselves in need. Like, a big orphanage filled with white beds where all boyfriends could think what they did wrong, cry themselves to sleep and clean and save environment.”
“I said I wouldn’t be bothered, but… I’m bothered.”
“Give me a little BJ, up and down a couple of times, it’s done! It’s easy!” “Easy?! You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there! Teeth placement and jaw stress and <…> and gag reflex and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breath through our noses! Easy?! Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothing!”
“She gave him head, but her heart wasn’t in it.”
“And just like that – I lost my head.”
“Fuck you!” “You wish…”
“I’m awful, I’m awful! I have this great boyfriend… God, I don’t know what I was doing…” “Nothing men haven’t been doing for centuries.”
“Aidan hasn’t said ‘I love you’ yet and until he does it – you’re a free agent.”
“There’s two types of guys out there. Ones that hold your hand and the ones that fuck you. And the guys that fuck you aren’t worth of death.”
“Charlotte was thrilled. Anthony was like the pushy Italian mother she never had.”
“Do you swallow?” “Only when surprised.”
“Hey, can I speak to the manager, please?” “Yeah, that’s me.” “That sandwich over there is saying sexually explicit things to women passing by.” “What does he say?” “Eat me.” “Yeah. He’s a sandwich.” “No, he didn’t say it in a sandwich way. He said it in a sexually harassing way.” “Lady. He’s a sandwich.” <…> “I can’t stop thinking about him.” “You’re telling me you’re turned on by a sandwich?“
“I like the idea of men in skirts – easy access!”
“There’s no need to tell this, men lie about this stuff all the time!”
“You can’t surprise a man with a dog.”
“Look at her. She screams sex, it’s so honest. I wish I could be more like that…” “Well, stop fucking complaining about it and do something about that!”
“That’s the thing about brazil [wax]. You have to be very careful about whom you ‘invite to Brazil’.”
“There I was – a Hollywood nobody.”
“If Trey could run away from their problems, so could she.”
“And there, in a South American’s living room, my Brazilian made me kiss him.”
“One woman’s Hugh Hefner is another woman’s spiritual leader.”
“I don’t like fakes.” “Oh, who cares, all that matters is what it looks like!”
“Who cares what you look like, you’re a writer!”
“Charlotte had forgot how awful single life could be. And suddenly marriage with all its problems wasn’t looking so bad.”
“I was trying to diagnose myself on the internet…” “You can do that?!” “Sure, you just type in your symptoms, hit enter and wait for the word ‘cancer’ to appear.”
“Even as a super hero, I was powerless.”
“He’s kinda cute.” “And he’s kinda asshole.”
“Why do you always have to talk about sex like that?” “Because I can.”
“Sex is something special that’s supposed to happen between two people who love each other.” “Or two people who love sex!”
“I don’t wanna be me, I wanna be someone else!” “Well, that’s the basis for a healthy relationship…”
“Once dumped, he would still dump on everyone else.”
“Look at me. This is me. I’m not a Madonna and I’m not a whore. I’m your wife. And I’m sexual, and I love you.”
“I think, I love you.” “Oh honey, that wasn’t love, that was sex…“
“So she drank to feel better about herself.”
“Miranda, only you and I can ever really know what happened between you and I. It’s nobody else’s business.”
“If you are single there’s one thing you should always take with if you’re going out on a Saturday night – your friends.”
“We were the single people in there.” “Miranda, we’re the only single people everywhere.”
“But you’re still looking outside yourself, it’s [soul mate idea] saying you’re not enough!” “Are you enough?” “Today she’s been too much…”
“You have to grab 35 by the balls and say ‘Hey, world, I’m 35!'“
“When I’m done with them – I’m done with them.”
“He’s hot!” “He’s a priest!” “He’s a hot priest!”
“Your face is glowing, did you get a facial or something?” “…I masturbated all afternoon…”
“I masturbate whomever I like! It’s imagination! It’s fine and perfectly healthy!”
“Clooney is like a Chanel suit – he’ll always be in style.”
“And I hate saying this, but… it felt really sad not to have a man in my life who cares about me. No special guy who would wish me a happy birthday. Not a goddamn soul mate. Now i don’t even believe in soul mates…”
“I’m 35…” “Oh shut the fuck up, I’m 140.”
“Hey, how’d you feel about soul mates?” “Well, I like the word ‘soul’. I like the word ‘mate’. Other than that you got me.”
“Oh, who gives a fuck what people think, this is a fabulous opportunity!”
“What you think, love?” <…> “I don’t know, whatever you think.” “No, change your mind to something better.”
“I’m going to prescribe an antidepressant.” “But I am not depr…” “It’s not for you, it’s for your vagina.”
“Was it me? Suddenly I wasn’t sexy? What does it mean?” “Who knows, he’s a man! You can lay your pussy on the table right in front of one and still not know what is he thinking…”
“Is that Italian?” “Sicilian.” “Is that different?” “Yeah.”
“Stanford, no one is listening to me, I keep telling them I am fabulous…”
“I was rejected by someone I’m not interested in. I hate when that happens.”
“Oh, who cares who (you two) are, just enjoy it!”
“The more words we invent, the harder it becomes to define things.”
“Trey and I made out in a movie.” “Now that’s retro.”
“Maybe Ray is the one!” “Your clitoris seems to think so.”
“And now, a penis was running her life.”
“The next morning, I woke up with a new thought. Maybe Ray was like jazz and instead of trying to make him something else, I needed to let go and appreciate him for what he was… truly mindblowing sex.”
“Talking about my penis – we both agree.”
“But nothing is more frightening in a prospect than running into an ex before you’ve had your morning coffee.”
“How you doing?” “Good! You know… boring.”
“It’s not a party, it’s a parade of our failed relationships!”
“All we do is lie around, take baths together and talk about our feelings.” “I think they call that a relationship.”
“What’s the fun of being clean if you can’t get dirty first!”
“Why didn’t you introduce me to that Shawn?” “Well, uhm, he’s nobody! Just the guy I used to fuck.”
“There was no sign of him. But he was everywhere.”
“I don’t want talk, I want passion, I want fireworks!”
“It’s been two days. I was worried. And you didn’t even call me.” “Neither did you.”
“Does he look better or I’ve just been with a woman too long?”
“There’s one room, in every marriage, that forces the question: how long do we want it to be just the two of us?”
“I finally had to sit on his face to shut him up…”
“Oh, you guys… Trey and I are trying for a baby…” “Why?!”
“There’s something happening with the men and the ass…”
“Then Trey told the lie that all parents-to-be tell themselves in order to procreate: our kid will be different.”
“You seem to have a lot of opinions today.”
“I know you can’t forget what happened, but I hope you can forgive me.”
“Sounds like he needed a good kick in the ass, which is what you gave him.”
“A squirrel is a rat with a cuter outfit!”
“Fuck… I think I’m in love.”
“You’re a man of few words, but you are the right ones.”
“The only thing in the kitchen I ever did successfully was a mess.”
“City girls are just country girls… only with cuter outfits.”
“Okay, this is less than a desirable situation, but it happens!”
“Here, swear on Chanel.”
“I don’t know why I’ve lied to him.” “Maybe you’re used to of wanting him to think in the certain way.”
“No judgement.” “Sounds like a judgement.”
“The only worse thing than a liar is a bad liar.”
“43?” “That’s my scary age.” “Mine’s 45.”
“I saw a ring and I threw up.” “That’s my reaction to marriage.”
“How can I marry a man who doesn’t know which ring is me?!” “Exactly, honey. Wrong ring – wrong guy.“
“Well, I’m still not ready, but when am I gonna be ready?”
“Maybe he is the right guy for me. I’m just not ready…” “You’re never gonna be ready, baby. You’re not the marrying kind.”
“I’m exhausted. How much of work marriage is supposed to be?”
“Maybe there are no right moments, right guys, right answers. Maybe you just have to say what’s in your heart.”
“You don’t love me, no? “No, especially not right now…”
“It’s dickalicious!”
“Yes, we’re disappointed. But life goes on. We still have to find a way to have a giggle!”
“Why do you speak German?” “A gal has her own reasons.”
“The hard thing about fighting in relationships is <…> no referee. There’s no one to tell you which comments are below the belt or when to go at separate corners. As a result, someone usually gets hurt. And it seems the closer couple gets, the more stuff they have between them, the harder it is to figure it out why exactly they’re yelling.”
“I came home prepared to admit to how silly I’d been. That was until he wasn’t prepared to admit to how silly he’d been.“
“So that’s the thing about needs. Sometimes, when you get them met, you don’t need them anymore.”
“It’s 7:30! Were you sleeping?” “I’m pregnant, I’m always asleep.”
“Well, Aidan and I didn’t [have sex]. He fell asleep and I watched gay porn.” “See, that is what happens when people tell “I love you”!”
“<…> gay men better understand what’s important: clothes, compliments and cocks!”
“You’re not a bad person, you’re a person with needs.“
“They want us both to be in a picture.” “Why?” “Because they think we’re a perfect couple.”
“You’re gorgeous.” “Tell me something that I don’t know.”
“You followed your feelings and that’s always the rightest thing to do.”
“I think I want monogamy. I think I caught it from you, people…”
“If you don’t wanna marry me right now, you’ll never wanna marry me.”
“I’m unfuckable and I’ve never been hornier in my life.”
“Why didn’t you call me?” “I got enough troubles.”
“When a man gives you money – you give him control.”
“Samantha could’ve said “I love you”, but she was afraid that would cost her too much.”
“Why do I have all of this money if I can’t help a friend?”
“Okay, you’re drunk.” “Yeah. Cookies drunk.”
“Sex with an ex can be depressing: if it’s good – you don’t have it anymore, if it’s bad – you just had sex with an ex.”
“My name is Samantha and I am love-holic.” “Hi, Samantha”
“Miranda has son!” “This is what the world needs – another man…”
“Break ups. Bad for the heart – good for the economy.”
“Does she speak..?” “No. I love her.”
“Oh, so you came?” “Yeah, I came, I saw… I’m leaving.”
“Maybe you have to let go who you were to become who you will be?”
“I’m not getting laid, therefore I’m getting laid off.”
“And I’m back with Richard.” “Richard whose death we’d been plotting?”
“For grown ups, there’s no such safe guard.”
“Anyone who’s anyone has a book!”
“But the truth is: in these troubled times the Catholic church is like the desperate 37 year old woman: willing to settle for anything it can get.”
“Apparently, women are the main market for hope.”
“I don’t know if I believe in any of this. But I believe in you.”
“Most first dates are like job interviews with cocktails.”
“Where are all the old men?” “Dead. Or married to twenty year olds.”
“But I don’t wanna escape the drama! That’s life, that’s everything, that’s relationships’ anniversaries and kids! And I want all of that in addition to my friends!”
“Honey, relax. What can anyone say about you?! You’re fabulous!”
“I will wear whatever and blow whomever as long as I can breathe and kneel!”
“This is a sexy event, so don’t be afraid to use colours.”
“I remember you, too. I remember you naked.”
“You don’t need luck, we’re in love!”
“Even the most together women can’t keep together when it comes to love.”
“Honey, you have to let it go! If I worried about what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I would never leave the house!“
“Can I wear a baseball hat to work?” “With what shoes?”
“I’d like to return this vibrator.” <…> “That’s not a vibrator.”
“His problem is that he’s an asshole.”
“The truth is, at any given moment someone somewhere could be making a face about you. But it’s the reviews that you give yourself that matter.”
“Some of the best sex I’ve had were with people I can’t stand!”
“No, I don’t wanna date him, he’s not very… attractive.” “Ugly sex is hot!”
“And sometimes it’s not the journey, it’s the destination.”
“No dates unless they have summerhouses!”
“You’re wonderful.” “And Jewish.”
“So what are we gonna do now?” “I don’t know… dance?”
“Maybe we should go on a date before we break up.”
“Oh, sure, it’s all fun and games until someone has a child…”
“I so cannot be in love with Steve, Steve is so not the guy for me! Uh… you’re right. Steve is so the guy for me!”
“Caring is like disaster magnet.”
“You’re the most wonderful thing that ever happened to a schmuck like me.”
“Fuck me badly once – shame on you, fuck me badly twice – shame on me.”
“Hi, I need something that will make guy cum in his pants as soon as he sees me.” “You talk to salespeople like that?” “I’m here all the time, they love me.”
“I’m sleeping with him tonight, but he doesn’t know it yet!”
“Honey, when it comes to sex – spray it, not say it.”
“The only words you should be saying in bed are the dirty ones.”
“In a single gal’s life there are three important firsts: the first time you have sex, the first time you have good sex and the first time you see a guy’s you’ve just started dating apartment.” <…> “and then there’s another first – the first time you realise this really might be something.”
“I tell you: it is so refreshing to be with someone who likes to fuck outside the box!”
“There is no greater sound than your friends laughing at your boyfriend’s jokes.”
“I’m sorry, with guys it’s really simple, if we like you, we’re coming upstairs, we’re booking the next date. There are no mixed messages.”
“I would have never gone through all this trouble if I didn’t know for sure we were gonna get married.”
“That’s harsh.” “Yeah, I am harsh. I’m also demanding, stubborn, self-sufficient and always right. In bed, at the office and everywhere else.” “I already knew that.” “And that’s just a little bit about me.“
“Do you know what people out there think when they see us together, do you?!” “Yeah, I know what people are thinking, I just didn’t think you’re one of ‘em.”
“They’ll love you, because I love you!”
“It’s pathetic how far a gal would go for a good fuck!”
“Young guys aren’t threatened by strong women having power.”
“What will I tell Steve?” “Blame the baby! That’s what they are for!”
“There is a little known relationship law: when your man is down and off, you have to get up and on.”
“I knew we were having problems, but a break? What am I some horrible job he needs to get away from?”
“Hey, remember when ‘a break’ was a good thing? Spring break, coffee break, now it’s break up, breakdown… it keep getting worse! What’s next?” “Hip break?”
“No, I won’t dignify his behaviour with a response.”
“This is one of the frustrating things of living alone: there’s not always somebody to rip your clothes off.”
“Women with candles replace the women with cats. It’s the new sad thing.”
“That night <…> had sex like teenagers again, meaning, he did not know what he was doing and I did not say anything.”
“I don’t like children but my own.”
“Just got [son] Brady to sleep.” “Do you sing to him?” “Only if he’s been bad.”
“Meanwhile, I invited Jeremy to come over and watch a movie, which in high school was a code for “come over and make out.”
“I need to be honest with about something.” “That’s the worst thing you can hear from someone you really like.”
“You’ve slept with him, didn’t you?” ‘Yes” “Oh, that’s where the problems begin. You sleep with someone, you start rationalising all the way all the red flags…”
“He did something that was so perverse. Okay, I’m just gonna say it: he tried to hold my hand.”
“Honey, if you’re hurt so much, why are we going shopping?“ “I have a broken toe, not a broken spirit!”
“Why don’t you just take that dress off and kill me now?”
“The city will never go quiet. You’ll have to blockout from that New York noise and listen only to yourself.”
“So I guess this is how will be like in our 70s: no sex and board games?”
“I was kidding.” “I’m laughing on the inside.”
“She’ll be okay. She just has to feel it.”
“Well, it’s really red downstairs…” “Sadly, this what expected of Russia.”
“There is one moment in every relationship, when you risk letting someone know the real you.”
“Don’t play a hard to get with a man hard to get.”
“He’s fifty!” “That’s a good age! They’ve been around the block and know how to use their cock!”
“When did it become fall?” “Somewhere between your old reason and my boredom.”
“This is so us, we are pathetic…”
“Surviving the night of food poisoning together wasn’t the stuff of great romance, but it was the stuff of lasting love.”
“It’s too much. I’m an American. You gotta take it down a notch…”
“Forget about „special fucking day“ and be normal, please, I beg of you!”
“You are the bossiest bride in the world!” “Yes, I am, and you have to do everything I say.”
“I’d take him, he’s adorable!” “It’s four days… Adorable stops after a day and a half.“
“I’m sorry… I’m dealing with cancer.” “All of New York is dealing with cancer.”
“You can’t be sarcastic on your honeymoon!”
“Ok, there’s something in the bushes. And I hope it’s a wild animal, not Steve coming to have sex with me again.”
“Sex. Travel. Comfort and… love? and extraordinary adventures!”
“Sorry, Steve, I am an asshole.” “Yeah, you are, but you’re MY asshole.” “Sweet. And gross at the same time”.
“Oh my God… “No, oh my boyfriend!”
“I think you’re acting like a child.” “And I think you’re acting like an asshole!”
“You know… just because someone doesn’t perform the way that you want doesn’t mean you should just give up on them…”
“You are so full of shit.” “Who said I wasn’t?”
“You can take out of me Manhattan, but can’t take it out of my shoes”
“I’m reading this – you no longer exist!”
“Once the gay rumour start – it means you’re really a star.”
“I love you for loving my friends. And I love you for new walls.<…>” “Well, if you love me for that stuff, what’ll happen now..?”
“It’s a cold heart fact: sometimes there’s not enough time in the night for both your worlds.”
